


It's you

by Ninaleto8



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bottom Harry, Daddy Kink, F/M, M/M, Parent Louis, Sad Harry, Smut, Spanking, Top Louis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-04 07:16:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 16,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11550195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ninaleto8/pseuds/Ninaleto8
Summary: Harry should be happy.He's living in a huge flat in Central London, one better than he ever dreamed. He couldn't ask for a better job, he gets to do what he actually likes for a living. He has friends that he loves immensely, friends he's known since he was a 10 year old kid. He has a family that loves him and he gets to see them as often as he wants. He's young, turning 22 in a couple of months.Most importantly, he has a boyfriend! One that loves him and gives him the world.Harry should be happy! He's got everything he's ever wanted, except for Louis!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heey!  
> I hope you like my fic xx
> 
> I don't own One Direction obviously, and this is only written for fun! 
> 
> I am on Wattpad as well (@lostinadaydream_) if you want to follow me and check out my works :))

Harry hated the rain, it plastered his hair to his face and messed his curls. His hair was very important to him, and he took great care in it. So he hated the rain for just messing it all up.

He huffed and walked faster toward the parking lot, he should run really, but he didn't want to risk falling. He unfortunately didn't have the best control over his legs!

He got to the car at last, soaked though, and hurried inside. He loved his Range Rover dearly, it was one of the many reasons he was grateful for having Chris in his life. Dating a wealthy guy had its many many perks.

He didn't start the car though; he just sat there and put his hair up in a bun. Staring at the rain drops littering his windshield. He did have a great memory with the rain, he just hated remembering it. It took him a while to master a skill for blocking a two years worth of memories, but it was a necessity, the pain would get overwhelming and quite unbearable.

He sighed and closed his eyes. He didn't master that skill after all it seemed, his mind was already flooded with blue eyes and throaty laughs. He hated how weak he was, it was four years ago damn it, why couldn't he just move on like normal people did?

He squeezed his eyes shut before opening them and starting his car, getting the volume of the radio so high in order to just block his thoughts and numb his mind. He drove home with white knuckles and a grip on the steering wheel like his life depended on it.

His mood however instantly improved when he was greeted by the sweet smile of Star. Gemma smiled at him and said: "finally little bro, you look damp!"

He scowled at her, ignoring her altogether in favor of picking up his four year old niece. She squealed in his arms and planted a wet kiss to his cheek. He always had a soft spot for babies, but he loved this one just so much more. She had his curly hair, blond version but still!

"Harry! You're late!" his mother scolded him as he entered the living room. Robin gave him a smile while Tom, Gemma's husband waved before Gemma hopped on his lap, knocking the breath out of him. He groaned which caused Star to giggle.

"I'm sorry! I had to grab a few things!" he answered his mom. Star perked up and asked: "stuffies fol Stal?"

He nodded and she squealed, "Bought you lots of coloring books and pretty crayons!"

She clapped her tiny hands together and wrapped her arms around his neck. He kissed her temple, his eyes catching Gemma's eye roll.

 

"When will Chris be here?" Robin asked.

Harry checked his watch before sitting down, Star on his lap, and saying: "around eight!"

"Good!" his mom answered, "right on time for dinner!"

He kissed Star's head once more before setting her on the couch and getting up, "I'm gonna take a shower and a nap!" he announced before heading towards the stairs and into his childhood room.

He loved Cheshire, it was home! But sometimes, every time he visited, he wished his mom and step dad would move out. Find another beautiful house, anywhere but here! His own room was suffocating. He remembered how he cried the first time he brought Chris home to meet his parents. Just having another boy in his room, another boyfriend, made him break down and sob into his mother's chest. Luckily, Chris already knew about Harry's past relationship, and thankfully, he understood. Gemma offered that they switch rooms, but he declined the offer! It had been two years at the time, it shouldn't have affected him like that.. he didn't understand how Chris was okay with it! He wouldn't have been if roles were reversed.

But he kind of knew, a few months into their relationship, that Chris was head over heels for him! That he considered Harry as a prize, to be cherished and loved unconditionally! And isn't that what Harry had wanted since he was twelve? Then why the hell was there a tear sliding down his cheek the moment he opened his old bedroom's door?

 

He angrily wiped at his face just as Gemma knocked and pushed the door open.

"Hey!" she said softly, which no, that's not going to help with his crying issue!

She closed the door behind her and settled behind him on the bed, wrapping her arms tightly around his middle and laying her head on his shoulder blade. He loved to be held, he was used to it.. always the little spoon.

Chris didn't know that though, and it was Harry's fault. He didn't tell him a lot of things, like how he actually preferred tea to coffee, but started drinking the latter because apparently, even tea made him fucking cry! He didn't tell him that blue was his favorite color, because that had to change, even if he really still preferred blue to any other color, but Chris thought that pink was Harry's favorite color, and Harry was okay with it! He also didn't tell him how he enjoyed bottoming more, so now he found himself topping more often than he liked! He only ever slept with one person before Chris and that person always topped, so it felt weird for Harry to let someone else top him, even if that someone else was actually his boyfriend! His body just wouldn't understand that, so he adjusted, and gave up a lot of things he used to like and still did because they're all tainted with Louis Louis Louis.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are 13 chapters published so far on Wattpad, so I'll upload them here as well before continuing to write this story! Let me know what you think of it in the comments :))

"Are you okay little brother?" Gemma asked him softly, still holding him tight.

Harry nods, because he knew his voice would betray him, and he also knew she wouldn't believe him anyway! He refused to admit to his feelings, he couldn't because it wasn't normal! How come it still caused him so much pain after all these years? How come it even hurts worse now? How come he still missed him every single day?

"Oh Harry, when are you ever gonna be okay again?" Gemma sighed, but she expected an answer because it wasn't a rhetorical question, he had to move on at one point, and he wasn't sure if he wanted that day to come quickly or if he wished it'd be his last day, years and years from now!

"I'm okay!" he said leaning away from her so she lets go of him, "I'm gonna take a quick shower and a nap before Chris is here!" he didn't wait for an answer as he went quickly to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He stripped out of his clothes and stepped under the hot spray.

He stirred in his sleep as he felt kisses being pressed to his shoulder blades and nape, he smiled before opening his eyes.

"Rise and shine sleepy head!" Louis' voice rang in his ear. Harry happily turns over and beams at his boyfriend.

"What are you doing here?" Harry asked before stretching his arms above his head.

Louis smirked and wiggled his eyebrows, "your mom called and said she and Robin were leaving quite early, she wanted me to wake you up for school, so here I am!"

Harry couldn't contain his happiness; waking up to his favorite person in the world was something he wished happened every day.

"Get up!" Louis ordered in that sexy stern tone of his. Harry blushed and mumbled: "I'm naked!"

Louis smirked and rolled his eyes: "Good! Get up and do a little twirl for me, princess!"

Harry eyes opened wide as he squeaked: "Louis!"

Louis simply sat back against the headboard and crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow as he said: "Do not make me wait, Harold!"

Harry scrambled to get out of bed and stand in front of Louis, his cheeks burning red, he quickly twirls around feeling flushed down to his chest. It wasn't that Louis hasn't seen him naked before, but Harry was only sixteen and shy and insecure about his baby fat, and also far too in love with Louis.

"Slower, Princess!"

Harry bit his bottom lip and twirled again, slower this time, feeling Louis' eyes burning holes in his body.

"You are so beautiful, Harry! Come here baby; take a seat on my lap!"

Harry obediently straddled him and looked shyly down to where his cock was quite hard. He loved it when Louis ordered him around.

Louis' hands immediately go to Harry's bum, cupping his cheeks and kneading the flesh. Harry couldn't help the moan that escaped him.

"Wanna take a shower with me babe?"

Harry shyly nodded as he wrapped his arms around Louis' neck as the latter stood up, carrying him to the bathroom. Louis washed his baby's hair and body thoroughly, running his soapy hands over every inch of his skin and enjoying very much. Harry was enjoying as well, begging to come already because he was only a teenager and all of Louis' attention was on him.

"Lou! Lou, please, let me come!"

Louis only smirked before he let a hand slide down between Harry's bum cheeks, making Harry gasp and tighten his grip on his boyfriend's biceps.

"Come for me, princess!" Louis whispered as he slid a wet finger inside Harry's hole.

Harry came with a whimper as he his hand slowed down around his softening cock. His eyes are squeezed shut, yet the tears still managed to fall down his face, mixed with the shower water. His head hung down as he watched the water wash away his tears and come.

He was ashamed of himself, because he promised he wouldn't do it anymore, time after time after time, yet he always found himself thinking about Louis right before coming, because he was weak and a horrible person.

 

Chris came right on time, planting a soft kiss on Harry's lips after saying hello to everyone else. Star was already asleep much to Harry's dismay. They ate dinner while sharing funny storied and light chatting.

Harry tried to participate as much as he could, but he mostly just shoved food in his mouth and tried not to pay attention to Chris's hand on his thigh.

They sat in the living room afterward, watching Pride and Prejudice because Gemma said so.

Chris leaned close to him and softly whispered: "you okay babe?"

Harry nodded and smiled reassuringly: "Yeah!" 

 

Chris put his hand on Harry's thigh again and squeezed: "Wanna go upstairs?"

Harry nodded and they stood up, excusing themselves and calling it a night.

Once they got into the room, Chris locked the door and started kissing him, his hand pulling Harry's curls and moaning into his mouth.

"I want you so much baby! Wanted you all day!" he said as he removed his sweater and pants. Harry did the same, even though he only wanted to sleep; but he felt guilty and that was the least he could give the person that gave him everything.

Harry started to search for the lube before Chris stopped him, pushing him on the bed and straddling him.

"I wanted this all day so I already prepped myself before coming!"

Harry fondly rolled his eyes before hissing as Chris started jerking him off. Harry pulled him down buy the neck to kiss him, because he didn't want to give himself time to over think or remember anything. Once Harry was hard enough, Chris lowered himself on him, both moaning lowly.

Chris did all the work as usual, because Harry liked it like that, because it was what he said to him anyway.

Chris was rocking on his dick and groaning, and Harry's hands trembled as he stopped them from reaching down and into himself. He couldn't do that, not when he told Chris he didn't like it, not when he lied about it for almost four years!

 

They came at the same time, Chris feeling full and satisfied while Harry struggled to keep the tears behind his eyelids. He managed to do it, until he was spooning Chris and listening to his soft snores. Then and only then, did he allow himself to cry.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry woke up alone in bed as usual; Chris had already left for work. He stretched and got dressed in sweat pants and a t-shirt before going down stairs and into the kitchen.

"Morning!" he says kissing his mom's cheek and pulling on Gemma's hair before sitting down, she doesn't slap his hand away like she usually does, in fact she doesn't even react. He frowns at that.

"Sleep well, baby?" his mother asks him while going through a drawer. She's already preparing lunch, but seeing as he slept in; he'd say it's about time.

He nods before taking a bite from his pancake. His mom's pancakes are the best, and that's something coming from him. He used to a baker you see!

"You okay Gem?" he asks her when she doesn't say a word to him. She's a very chatty person in the morning so he's worried she might be sick.

She looks up at him and something between pity, worry and relief crosses her face. And if he wasn't worried before, he certainly is now! He gives her a questioning look and she just fakes smiles and says: "nothing! Having my period's all!"

He doesn't really believe her but he knows that she'll tell him if something's wrong when she's ready.

He continues eating in silence as his mom moves to the living room, kissing the top of his head on her way out. Gemma stays there though, silently going through her phone.

He chokes on his last bite when she speaks again, and it's not that she startles him, it's what she says that's causing him to cough his lungs out.

"Would you ever take Louis back?" she had said hesitantly.

She gets up, grabs him a glass of water then sits next to him and waits patiently until he regains his breath.

He looks at her with wide eyes, because what the hell? It was a well-known unspoken rule to everyone that knows him to never ever mention that name in front of him. It was haunting him enough without having to hear it.

"What?" he croaks out, feeling his throat closing up and tears already welling up in his eyes. So pathetic he thinks.

"I asked if you would take him back and forgive him if he showed up again."

He knows for sure now that not only he is truly pathetic but a cry baby as well, fat tears are rolling down his face and it's all he can do not to break into pieces on his mother's kitchen floor.

"Why would you ask me that?" he chokes before a loud sob leaves his mouth.

Anne comes into the kitchen then, holding her son against her chest and petting his hair to sooth him. She doesn't want him having a panic attack; it's been so long since he's had one.

"What the hell happened?"

"She asked me about him mom!" harry hiccups not even able to say his name, "why would she do that?" he turns to Gemma with a betrayed look and says: "why would you do that?"

It hurts so badly, his heart hurts so badly. It feels like it's being squeezed inside his chest and he can barely breathe.

She sighs and slumps back in her seat before saying: "I think he's back!"

Harry's world stops, which only happened once before when Louis left him. It does not help with his slight asthma, because he's fairly sure he's having a panic attack and he can't breathe.

Thankfully, Anne and Gemma are quick to react, getting him his inhaler and calming him down with sweet words and reassurances.

He thinks he fell asleep because he wakes up again for the second time that day, only this time on the couch. His head is on his mother's lap while she plays with his hair.

He knows he's fainted, because he didn't dream. He always dreams, mostly about the same person! Those dreams he loves so much while sleeping and loathes the second he wakes up.

Gemma is looking at him with so much guilt and worry in her eyes.

"I'm sorry!" are the first words that leave her mouth. He smiles, albeit barely, but it's there! He loves her and doesn't want to worry her. But he's panicking inside, he's scared and his heart feels so heavy. The possibility of Louis being back is unbelievable to him. He doesn't remember him saying he'd ever be back. Or maybe he just couldn't hear anything past the "I'm leaving, Haz!" Louis said to him.

"Are you okay, baby?" his mother asks, sounding more worried than Gemma looks.

He nods and sits up before rubbing his face. He's 22 for fuck's sake; he can deal with this like an adult.

"Could you please explain Gem? Because I don't know what to think and I'm freaking out!" I ask as calmly as I can, considering what I am feeling inside.

She sighs and says: "I'm not sure but I think I saw him this morning when I drove Star to daycare!"

"You're not even sure and you cause your brother a panic attack!" Anne yells at her.

"Mom!" I say holding her hand, "I'm fine!" I turn my attention back to Gemma and say: "where did you see him exactly?"

"At a red light, he was inside a range a phone plastered to his ear, I mean I didn't get a good look and the hair looked different, but I could swear it was him!"

I feel like crying again, because what if it is him. Gemma wouldn't tell me if she wasn't almost sure it was him. Harry also knows that Louis used to talk on the phone while driving, probably still does, no matter how many times Harry asked him not to in the past.

Why was he back? Is it temporary? Did something happen? He wants to call Jay or Lottie and ask, he wants to know if something is wrong and that's why he's here, but he can't. He's been shit to them when Louis left; he loved them dearly, he really did. But god did it hurt to talk to them at the time. The fact that they moved back to Doncaster didn't help either, they just lost contact and they understood why Harry was okay with that, why he needed that.

The ringing of his phone interrupts his thoughts, it's chris. He answers it and talks to his boyfriend, still feeling dazed. Chris said they'd meet at the little supermarket down the street from where they live. The fridge is practically empty.

He showers and eats lunch with his family, it's quiet and tense, but bless Star and her cute rambling, she takes his mind off of Louis for a bit. He says goodbye and hugs his niece super tight promising to pick her up from daycare someday this week.


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm dying for some of your delicious chicken, babe? Would you cook us that tonight?"

Harry nods while putting the yogurt in the cart. Chris holds his waist and kisses his cheek tenderly.

And fate seems to hate Harry, because at that exact moment he hears a voice he hasn't heard in 4 years, a voice he wouldn't, couldn't forget.

"Hazza!" Louis simply said, and Harry feels like fainting. He would have if it wasn't for the little warning Gemma gave him. He wasn't expecting to see him per say, he just couldn't help but hope!

Louis is standing right in front of them, still the same height, same stance radiating dominance, but he's different. Shit, he's older, looks older, and out of all the reactions Harry could get at this moment, a boner is the one his body chooses. Thank god he's wearing his coat, he tightens it around him and Chris's hand drops from his waist.

"Baby, you alright?" he asks, and Harry merely nods, not even glancing in his direction. He can't help it anyway. His eyes are transfixed on Louis, his whole world is Louislouislouis, always has been.

"Boyfriend, I assume?" Louis says more as a fact than a question, stepping closer, a hint of jealousy and possessiveness in his tone. Same old Louis! Only no, this Louis' hair is pushed back messily, he has stubble and his eyes are more vibrant than ever. And holy shit, it's Louis, his Louis standing right in front of him.

"I'm Chris, Harry's boyfriend!" Chris says holding a hand out to shake Louis' and the other possessively pulls Harry by the waist.

"Louis!" he simply answers, because isn't that enough? The way Chris stiffens is proof enough!

Louis narrows his eyes at harry and says: "not gonna say hi hazza?"

Harry gulps and stutters, "Hi!" because nothing's changed apparently. Harry still can't help but do everything and anything Louis asks.

"What are you doing here?" he whispers.

Louis smiles and Harry feels like crying, "I saw you leaving Anne's, so I followed you!"

"Well that's not creepy!" Chris mutters, at which Louis glares, "Let's go home babe!"

Harry only nods, because one: he can't stand anymore, and two: he will burst into tears in a second.

So he allows Chris to turn him away from Louis and to the checkout. Harry instantly wants to look back at Louis; he didn't look away from him since he said his name. Hazza! Lou gave him that nickname, his Lou!

He starts crying the second he's inside the car, and really he should get an award for holding it together that long. Needless to say, his boner is long gone.

Chris doesn't comfort him, doesn't really do or say anything, even when they arrive home. He hasn't seen Harry cry over Louis since they met.

"Do you still love him?" Chris asks when they're inside their room, him standing by the dresser, and harry sitting on the bed, pathetically sobbing into his hands.

Harry looks up at him but doesn't say anything, it's written all over his face. It's been there all these years, he only hid it a bit and Chris chose to not see it. Now he does though.

"I'm sleeping on the couch tonight!" he says before storming out and slamming the door after him.

Harry collapses onto the bed, soaking his pillow in salty tears and trying to figure out what it is exactly he's feeling.

 

Harry is panicking, he's panicking and he's crying and staring at the plate in front of him in horror. He burned dinner! He just ruined his plan and Louis will be here any second

As if on cue, the front door opens and closes and Louis' voice fills the house.

"hazza!" he calls out.

Harry whimpers and turns to face the door just as Louis comes into the kitchen. His smile turns to a frown when he sees tears on his baby's face. He rushes to him and holds him close.

"What happened, baby? Are you hurt?"

Harry shakes his head and bites his bottom lip when Louis forces his head up, hands gently cradling his face and thumbing away his tears.

"I burned dinner, Lou! And I don't understand how because I've never ruined a meal before and the one I wanted perfect I ruin!"

Louis smiles softly and coos: "my beautiful sensitive baby! It's okay, we'll order pizza! Yeah? I burn food all the time, so don't feel bad!"

"But louuu!" Harry whines, "I wanted to make a special dinner and have it be romantic and all!" Harry is blushing now, his eyes casting down.

"Baby?" Louis says gently, "why is this dinner so important?"

Louis was spending the night over at Harry's, but that wasn't the first time, they've had sleepovers before. Only Harry's parents are out of town on a short trip and Harry wanted this sleepover to be.. well, different.

"Um.. I wanted you to make love to me!" harry says so quietly Louis strains to hear him. But the way his cheeks are flaming and his lower lip is trembling, Louis doesn't make him say it again.

They've only been dating for three months, since Harry's sixteen's birthday, but they've known each other for years now. They've shared kisses and had a make out session but nothing more, Louis doesn't want to pressure Harry into doing anything he's not ready for, he's only sixteen and really innocent.

Louis' heart swells when he hears his boyfriend shyly asking him to fuck him. Well, make love to him really; because of course Harry would say that.

Louis kisses him, softly at first then more urgent. If Harry wants Louis to make love to him, he will do it of course, and properly. He loves his baby and would give him anything he asks for.

He pulls back and says: "go upstairs and dress up, we'll go out for dinner, then we'll get back home and I will make sweet and gentle love to my pretty virgin baby!"

Harry blushes even more, but swiftly kisses Louis' cheek and saunters up the stairs.

Louis looks down at his crotch and wills it to calm the fuck down. It's just that he's wanted Harry for at least 2 years now, since he himself was sixteen years old. So he can't help but be too excited about tonight.

Harry wakes up to his alarm clock, his eyes are swollen and he feels like shit. Chris is gone and Harry's too tired to even shower or get breakfast. He lays there in his bed, his mind still focused on the memory of his first time.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smuuuut :))

He kisses him urgently while laying him on the bed, his hands unbuttoning down Harry's shirt and taking it off. He has to break off the kiss eventually to strip him off his pants. Harry is blushing, of course he is. His hands are lying uselessly by his head, his curls spread out on his pillow. Louis has never been this hard.

Once he strips him bare, he leans back and watches him hungrily. He's seen Harry naked before, but never like this, never spread out on a bed, so exposed and inviting.

"louu!" Harry whines impatiently, pressing his thighs together. Louis stops him and says: "no angel, let me admire you!"

He starts taking off his clothes too, and Harry stares of course, his body relaxing and his legs opening again.

Louis smirks before kissing him quickly then moving down to his neck, he sucks on it and groans at the little whimpers leaving Harry's mouth. He moves down to his chest, kissing along the soft skin before taking a nipple in his mouth, Harry moans loudly at that. Louis doesn't relent, kissing and sucking and licking at his nipples until Harry cries out and says: "lou I-I'm gonna come!"

Louis pulls back and coos at him: "my sweet little boy!" harry preens at the term of endearment, "you can come baby, whenever you want!" he says while his hands move down to his hips, caressing and squeezing the soft skin.

"But I want you inside!" Harry whimpers. He's flushed down to his chest, his eyes wide and teary, and his lips red and puffy from how hard Louis kissed him.

"You will baby, I'll make you come twice, yeah?" with that he lowers his head without warning and sucks Harry's cock into his mouth. Harry comes with a cry of Louis's name before collapsing back against the pillow. He whines from sensitivity and tries to push Louis away when he won't stop sucking him.

Louis pulls back, his hand replacing his mouth before saying: "I need you hard again, baby!" he keeps jerking him off and cuts his whimpers with a deep kiss.

Once Harry is hard again, Louis takes the lube that he bought on their way back from dinner and squirts some on his hand, coating three of his fingers generously.

He kisses Harry's forehead and says ever so gently: "you know it'll hurt at first, right baby? But I'll make you feel so good, I promise! You trust me, yeah?"

Harry nods but Louis nibbles on his earlobe and says: "say it!"

"I trust you lou, so much! Please fuck me now!"

Louis' cock twitches at that. His polite little boy! He wondered briefly before if Harry wanted to top, not that Louis would agree, he's a top, always has been. But he expected for Harry to at least ask, he couldn't be happier that his baby boy is indeed a bottom. It was kind of obvious anyway!

He gently spreads his legs and his mouth waters at the sight of a pretty pink hole, he wants to eat him out so much, but doesn't want Harry to come before he's inside him. He runs the pad of his index around Harry's hole, and the younger boy's panting already. He gasps loudly once Louis' finger enters him. It feels weird, but he loves it already, he wants Louis' fingers there forever.

Louis moves his finger around a bit before pulling it out almost all the way then pushing back in, harry is a moaning mess already!

"More lou, please!"

Louis chuckles and says: "what a greedy baby boy you are!" but adds another finger nonetheless. He stretches harry thoroughly, until the younger boy is writhing beneath him and a mantra of 'please' and 'Louis' leaving his mouth. Louis wraps and lubes up his cock and gets between Harry's spread out legs, his hands are on either side of his baby's head.

Harry wraps his legs around Louis' waist and tries to get him inside. He whimpers however as soon as Louis enters him, but it's almost drowned by the groan of pleasure that comes out of Louis' mouth. He stills his hips once he's deep inside and presses soft kisses to Harry's forehead. The latter has his eyes squeezed shut as he cries out: "it hurts lou!"

Louis shushes him and says: "just relax love! It'll get better in no time!"

He pulls out then slowly, before thrusting back inside. He does that a few more times before harry loosens up and opens his eyes. His back arches at the next thrust and he moans.

"There we go!" he coos, fucking into his boyfriend hard and deep, "I love how loud you are!"

"uh fa-faster lou, p-please!"

Louis complies and changes his angle ever so slightly trying to find Harry's prostate, and if the shout of pleasure harry lets out is any indication, then he finds it on his first try. He keeps aiming at it, harry moaning louder and louder every time, until he spills all over his tummy, coming untouched.

Louis follows shortly after him thrusting hard and spilling in the condom. He collapses on top of his boyfriend who hugs him close, legs still wrapped around Louis right under his bum.

"I love you so much!" harry croaks, and Louis knows he's crying; he also knows that they're happy tears.

"I love you too baby boy!" he whispers in his neck, before lifting himself up and pulling out of harry, he wipes him gently then spoons him, singing softly to him until he falls asleep.

Louis curses as he walks back to his car, getting inside and slumping back against the seat. God, he's not even sure what he was expecting. Did he think Harry would run up to him and kiss him and call him Daddy again? Of course it wouldn't happen, didn't happen! He just left!

He left with his boyfriend! Fuck that word leaves a bitter taste in Louis' mouth. Harry's been with that guy since Louis left, almost four years! Fuck!

Chris is his name; of course Louis already knew that thanks to Liam! It's a stupid name if you ask him, he's also tall and handsome and fuck Louis is so fucking jealous. He knows he deserves this, he left Harry! But harry is his, his baby, and he'll be damned if he doesn't get him back!


	6. Chapter 6

Harry just got home after he picked up Star from daycare and bought her a cupcake from her favorite bakery. He dropped her home then, hanged out with Gemma and told her how he ran into Louis the day before. He didn't cry this time.

He finds Chris in the living room watching TV.

"Hey!" Harry says, they haven't talked since last night when Chris slept on the couch.

"Where were you?" Chris says, looking up at Harry without his usual smile.

Harry frowns as he sits down next to him, "I picked up Star then stayed with Gemma a bit! Where didyou think I would be?"

Chris simply shrugs and turns his attention back to the TV.

"You thought I went to him, didn't you?" harry accuses, a hint of disbelief in his tone.

"What else was I supposed to think? You told me last night you still love him!"

"I didn't say that!" Harry snaps.

"Well you didn't deny it either! So tell me Harry, do you still love him, yes or no?"

Harry's eyes escape his boyfriend's, "it's complicated! He was my best friend and my first, you don't just forget that!"

"Actually you do!" Chris says in a harsh tone, "When that said best friend breaks your heart and leaves you without a second glance, you forget him!"

Harry opens his mouth to answer but the doorbell starts ringing. He silently makes his way to the door and opens it. Zayn strides right by him, his shoulders stiff and hands fisted.

"Zany! Are you okay?" he asks as he follows him to the living room.

"Peachy!" Zayn says as he collapses down on the couch.

"Fighting with Liam again?" Chris asks, Zayn nods, a scowl on his face.

Chris fishes out his pack of cigarettes and offers one to Zayn before taking one himself.

Harry sighs as they light it and stands up, "let me know when you're done!"

He goes straight to the bathroom and starts filling the bath tub.

Whenever Zayn and Liam fight, Liam would go over to his best friend Niall, and Zayn would come to Harry. They've known each other since they were five; they met Liam when they were ten, and Zayn was immediately taken with the boy, they've been inseparable since then, which Harry hated a bit until Louis moved in when Harry turned thirteen.

However, Zayn and Liam were different in character, and they would fight occasionally. But Harry hasn't seen Zayn this angry since Liam kissed a girl at a 'truth or dare' game. He is extremely possessive and jealous, which Liam loves of course. They are so in love with each other that Harry hated hanging out with them when Louis left him, that and the fact that Liam and Louis became best friends through high school.

The door to the bathroom opens and Zayn steps in, he closes it before leaning against the sink, his arms crosses over his chest.

"Where's Chris?"

"Went to bring Dinner! And give me time to vent to you!"

Harry sighs and says: "what did Liam do this time?"

Zayn runs his hand through his black hair and says: "this time is different, haz! He's been lying to me!"

Harry frowns at that, because he knows Liam and the lad wouldn't lie to Zayn, he worships the ground he walks on.

"What do you mean? Liam would never blatantly lie to you!"

Zayn snorts and says: "I think you'll be angrier at him than I am once you know what he did! I don't think you'll ever want to speak to him again!"

Harry frowns for a minute confused at Zayn's words before his eyes widen. This must have something to do with Louis.

"Is this about Louis?"

Zayn obviously didn't expect Harry to say that, it takes him a minute before he says: "did Liam tell you? Am I the only one who doesn't know?"

Harry shakes his head before getting out of the tub, Zayn hands him the towel and he wraps it around his waist.

"No, Liam didn't say anything! I ran into Louis last night!"

"Louis is back?" Zayn asks incredulously.

Harry nods, "yes! If you didn't know that, then what are you mad at Liam for that has to do with Louis?"

"He's been talking to him all these years! Behind my back, like really talking and skyping! Can you fucking believe that?"

Harry didn't know that, but he did kind of expect it. Liam and Louis were overly close to stop speaking just because Harry and Louis broke up. Harry didn't like to think about it though, because why would Louis keep in touch with Liam only! Wasn't Harry his best friend too? Wasn't harry more?

He once was Louis' whole life, or so Louis used to say!

"Yeah actually, they were pretty close!" harry says as he moves to the bedroom, Zayn following behind him.

"You were more than close! Did you even hear from him these past years?"

Harry winces, because that hurts. Apparently, Louis cared more about Liam than him. He drops his towel and wears his boxers, before opening a drawer and looking for a t-shirt to wear.

"Can we talk about this later? Chris will be here any second and he's already upset with me!"

Zany looks like he wants to argue but decides not to. He sighs and sits down on the bed watching Harry drying his hair.

"Fine! S'not like I'm leaving any time soon!" he stays silent for a bit before asking, "So you never wear them anymore?"

Harry's hand freezes and he shakes his head no, "it was a phase!"

Zayn snorts: "you can't lie for shit haz, and especially not to me!"

Harry whines because even though Zayn is his best friend, he doesn't want to talk with him about what sort of underwear he wears.

Zayn smirks and says: "the first time you wore panties, you showed me first and Louis probably still hates me for it! And I remember how you swore you will never wear anything but!"

Harry blushes and scowls, "well it's hard to explain to your boyfriend why you dress in feminine underwear but can't stand to bottom!"

Zayn shook his head disapprovingly, "that is so not healthy! It will be even harder to explain when he finds your panties and vast collection of dildos and butt plugs! Where do you hide them anyway?" Zayn asks amused.

Harry flushes even more and groans, "I hate you and I will never tell you!"

He goes to sit by his friend and they both lay back, staring at the ceiling.

"What are you gonna do now, Harry?" Zayn whispers, sounding serious now.

Harry heaves a long sigh and says: "I don't know!"


	7. Chapter 7

Harry was seventeen the first time he wore panties. He bought them at the mall when he passed Victoria' secret; he just loved the pale pink lacy thing and knew Louis would enjoy them very much!

He was nervous though, so he decided to show Zayn first, his best friend will tell him whether he really looks good or not.

"Zayn! What do you think?"

Harry was standing in front of the long mirror in his and Louis' bedroom, they'd moved in a few months back.

Zayn was laying back on the bed, Harry's back to him clad in only the tiny panties he bought.

"You look great H! Louis will fuck you senseless the second he sees them!"

Harry blushed as he turned to look at him, "he always fucks me senseless!"

Zayn wiggles his eyebrows at that causing Harry to giggle before wearing his clothes back.

Now Harry is right where he wanted, perched on top of Louis and rocking on his cock. Louis almost choked when he saw his baby in nothing but the tiny see through panties; needless to say, he wanted to fuck him right away.

"Ugh so good Hazza, you're always so tight baby!" Louis groans, his hands gripping Harry's soft hips.

Harry moans, loving to be praised, "Only for you –uh- Lou!" he croaks out as he drops down hard on Louis' cock.

He comes untouched as louis' cock kept hitting his prostate dead on, he collapses on Louis' chest who hugs him close and fucks up into him chasing his orgasm.

"Love you!" harry murmurs against Louis' neck, unable to move a muscle.

Louis smiles sweetly and says it back, Harry always tells him he loves him after having an orgasm.

They were currently at Liam and Zayn's place; they meet there every Thursday night to play Fifa.

Harry wasn't really good at it; he preferred Mario Kart and would bug them sometimes until they agree to switch to it. Tonight, he's at his usual spot, sitting on the ground between Louis' legs, his back against the couch.

Harry's cheering Louis while Liam's cheering Zayn, Niall is stuffing his face with Doritos while watching them.

When the game finishes, Louis won of course, Harry rushes out of his spot to sit on his boyfriend's lap.

Zayn smirks and says: "so Louis? Did you like Harry's new choice of underwear?"

Louis scoffs, tightening his hold around harry, "we are not talking about Harry's underwear!"

Harry is blushing furiously, glaring at Zayn.

"I know I loved it! The color choice was on point; his ass looked great didn't it?"

Louis stiffens while Liam scowls and threatens: "you are so not getting any tonight!"

Niall cackles loudly while Louis says: "so you saw them?"

Zayn nods and says: "he wanted a second opinion before he showed you!"

"I see!" comes Louis' hard tone, he shifts harry off of him and says: "well it's getting late! We'll see you later!"

He stands up and offers a hand to harry, his eyes hard and glaring, "Come on Harold!"

Harry gulps before following after the older boy, he looks back at Zayn who winks at him. Harry is so going to kill him.

The second they enter their apartment, Louis stomps off to their bedroom, Harry follows behind him and figures he might as well start begging for forgiveness.

"Lou I'm sorry! Please don't get mad at me, I only showed zee because I was nervous and afraid you wouldn't like it and.." he stops mid-sentence as Louis looks up at him and shushes him. He's sitting on the bed, his jaw slack and his hands in fists.

"Come here Harry!"

Harry whimpers quietly at the use of his name, Louis always calls him baby or hazza. He walks obediently to stand in front of his boyfriend.

"I think you deserve a punishment, don't you agree baby?" Louis says, his voice husky, as he grabs Harry's hand and strokes it softly.

Harry gulps as he feels himself hardening, he's never thought he'd hear that from Louis. Dreamed about it, yes, but never thought would happen.

"y-yes!" he stutters.

Louis smirks and says, "Good then! Strip and lay over my lap!"

Harry's knees almost buckle; he gapes at his boyfriend silently before rushing to comply. He's dying to call Louis Daddy but he's afraid that will scare Louis off and he'd think Harry is sick and disgusting.

His cheeks are flaming by the time he drapes his body across Louis' lap, the latter's hands immediately grabbing his cheeks and kneading the flesh.

"You've been so naughty baby boy!" he tuts and Harry lets out a loud moan at that.

Louis is relieved to see that Harry loves the idea of being spanked, that he is so hard already. He knows his baby well but he couldn't help but have some doubts.

"I think you deserve a twenty, baby! What do you think?" Louis says in a teasing tone, spreading harry's cheeks to expose his hole.

Harry simply whimpers, nodding his head.

"Hmm!" Louis hums, "I think that should be enough! You'll never go around showing what's mine to others again, will you baby?"

Harry shakes his hand frantically then yelps when Louis slaps his left cheek suddenly.

"Words baby boy!"

"N-never L-lou! Please!" Harry manages to croak out, panting harshly.

Louis hums again before landing a hard slap to Harry's other cheek. He doesn't make his baby count because he doesn't want to overwhelm him more than he already is. Harry's crying by ten, and sobbing by seventeen, he keeps uttering a mantra of please between his moans and sobs.

Louis immediately leans down to kiss his baby's bum cheeks after delivering the last slap. His skin is glowing a beautiful shade of red and it's hot to the touch.

He quickly gathers him in his arms, murmuring sweet nothings into his ear.

"My beautiful baby boy! You did so good baby!"

After a few moments, Harry's crying stops and he pulls back and kisses Louis' cheek softly murmuring: "thank you!"

Louis beams at him, "was I too hard baby?"

Harry shakes his head and blushes, "no, it was perfect Lou!"

Louis smiles fondly at him and says: "you should've told me before you're into this baby! Would've spanked you a long time ago!"

Harry giggles and says: "was embarrassed! I'm glad you like it though"

Louis laughs a bit and said: "come on! Let me go get some cream for your bum and then I'll take care of your little problem there!"

Harry looks down at his hard cock and blushes furiously before scooting out Louis' lap. He hisses when his bum touches the bed so he rolls on his front and peers at Louis.

"You have the same problem, Lou!" harry giggles, his mouth watering at the sight of the tent in Louis' pants.

Louis only smirks and says: "don't drool baby! You'll get it soon enough!" before winking and going to the bathroom to get the cream for Harry's bum.


	8. Chapter 8

"God mom, I know!" Harry huffs as he leans back against the wall, the sounds of his students enjoying his absence drifting to the halls.

He can hear his mom sigh before saying: "okay baby! Stay safe"

"Yeah! Love you mom!" he says before hanging up and entering his classroom.

"Sorry kiddos!"

"Who called you, harry?" Natalie asks him with furrowed eyebrows. She looks especially cute today with pigtails.

"My mommy!" he says and his five year old students erupt in giggles.

"Does your mommy make you eat vegetables too?" Danny asks.

Harry laughs and nods: "she does everyday! And that's not bad because vegetables are?"

As expected, the whole class yells: "good for your health!"

"That's right!" he confirms satisfied, "who here eats all his vegetables?"

He smiles as he watches them all scramble to lift their hands as high as they can.

He loves his job!

***

He checks his reflection in the mirror, satisfied with the way his jeans hug his legs and accentuate the curve of his arse. He looks hot is he may say so himself.

Chris comes to the bedroom, shrugging his suit jacket on and smiling at Harry, "you ready babe? You look hot!"

Harry smiles and nods. His boyfriend looks good too, loves it when he wears suits.

They exit the apartment and go down the elevator in silence. They are not completely okay, but they're working on it. They're having diner outside to talk out their problems like adults. Harry likes the idea.

It's only been two days but he does miss the warmth of Chris sleeping next to him. At least he's talking to him now. Baby steps, Harry thinks.

He leaves all thoughts of blue eyes and scruffy jaw at the back of his mind. He wants to work on his relationship. His almost four years relationship goddamn it! That's how long Louis' been gone!

They go to this fancy Italian restaurant, ordering delicious meals and expansive wine. Chris always spoil him, takes him to expansive restaurants and buying him YSL boots. He really is lucky to have him, fuck his heart for disagreeing!

"So how was your day?" Chris asks him as he sips from his glass.

Harry beams and gushes about his adorable students, his boyfriend watching him with a fond expression.

They chat pleasantly throughout their meals, before Chris sighs and says: "Listen harry! I love you, you know that right?"

Harry's heart stutters and the guilt threatens to choke him, he manages to nod his head though and says: "I know that! Of course I do, and I love you too, I swear it!"

Chris chuckles, but it sounds forced and sad, "I know you do! As much as you can at least"

Harry furrows his eyebrows, ready to argue, but his boyfriend shakes his head and says: "I know H, I know! It's alright babe, you can't make your heart feel a certain way. I am happy with the little piece you've managed to give me. It's no big deal; I love you enough for the both of us!"

Harry's eyes water at that, because what the hell? Does Chris want to kill him with guilt?

"I want you to know that I am ready to fight for your love, for you to choose me! And I'll fight dirty H, I'll do anything to have you choose me over him!"

"There's no choice to begin with, Chris, what are you talking about?"

Chris' jaw tightens before he says: "I met your ex, love! He came to see me at work yesterday!"

Harry's eyes are wide as he gapes at him. Louis went to see him? Why would he do that? What did he want?

"He said some things that pissed me off at you to be honest! But now matter how hurt they made me feel I made it clear that I wasn't backing off, that you are mine now and I intend to keep it that way."

Harry swallows the lump in his throat before asking: "what did he say?"

Chris levels him with a look and says: "I am gonna ask you something H, and I want you to be honest with me!"

Harry is scared at this point, not sure what Louis said to his boyfriend but he nods and stutters, "I will, I promise!"

"Did you ever cheat on me?"

Harry shakes his head frantically: "No, Chris! I would never do that, I swear!"

Chris smiles and says: "I believe you baby! I just wanted to be sure! But this doesn't make sense! He told me about how you were before we met, you know? Specifically about how you were in bed Harry and I don't understand how that's possible! How are you the same person?"

Harry whimpers and covers his face with his hands, he hates Louis and he will kill him when he sees him.

"I am sorry! I am so sorry, I am so fucked up and I understand if you're disgusted with me and never want to see my face again"

His rambles are cut off by gentle hands grabbing his and a soothing voice saying: "no babe, it's okay! He hurt you so bad I understand that! I just wish you gave me a chance you know? You've seen my dick, I could top you so well!" he finished teasingly.

Harry squeaks and blushes.

Chris sits back with a smirk on his face and says: "what do you say baby? Wanna go home?"

Harry stares at him wide eyed. He can't believe how this dinner turned out! How come Chris is so okay with all of this?

He hesitates though before nodding. Chris pays the bill and they make their way back home. Harry is nervous to say the least. He's had sex with Chris countless times, but he never bottomed, never felt him inside of him. He's only ever done that with Louis!

Louis the bastard! How dare he come back just like that and ruin Harry's life? How dare he make Harry his and leave him afterwards?

Shit his words are forever engraved in Harry's mind. How will he ignore them and give himself like that to someone else? Someone who isn't Louis?


	9. Chapter 9

Harry is dancing around the kitchen in some frilly pink panties that barely cover his ass while making breakfast for him and Louis. He's in a good mood, Happy that it's the holidays and that have the whole day to themselves before driving to see their families.

Louis comes out a few minutes later, smiling at his younger boyfriend before sitting down on a chair.

The table is empty; the plates are on the counter still.

Harry beams at him and says: "help me set up the table, lou?"

Louis shakes his head teasingly and says: "leave them babe and come here!"

Harry furrows his eyebrows cutely and says: "but it'll get cold!"

Louis only shrugs and says: "come here princess! Don't make me say it again!"

He's satisfied with the way Harry flushed down to his chest and stumbles over his own feet to approach Louis.

"Good boy! It smells really good baby but it can wait, yeah? Want you to bend over the table for me!"

He says it so casually, and it doesn't help with how Harry reacts. He squeaks and blushes even more, his eyes wide.

Louis laughs and says: "go on! Wanna kiss you good morning!"

Louis' husky voice makes feel all hot, his dick twitching in response. He covers his hot cheeks with his cold clammy hands before stepping between Louis' legs and bending down forward, pressing his chest to the table.

If there's anything he loves more that Louis ordering him around and manhandling him, is when he eats him out. He doesn't know how to explain it; he turns always so shy and looks downright embarrassed. But he still loves it. Loves feeling exposed as Louis spreads his ass cheeks and licks him good.

He's brought out from his thoughts when he feels Louis cupping his ass with his hands and humming appreciatively. He then lowers the panties until they're around his ankles before he says: "step out of them love and spread your legs".

Harry is quick to obey parting his legs until they're flush with Louis' spread out ones.

"Such a pretty sight baby boy!" Louis says before nuzzling his face in his baby's arse and humming; "smells so good princess, like vanilla!"

"Hmm, took a bath!" harry murmurs from where his face is squished against the table.

He moans when he feels Louis part his cheeks and blow over his hole before licking a fat stripe from his hanging balls to the top of his crack.

"Love the way you taste princess! Could never get enough!"

Harry only mewls and pushes his ass back. Louis brings his palm down on his baby's right cheek and says: "don't be greedy baby boy!"

Harry yelps and moans, nodding and mumbling quiet apologies.

Louis smirks and says: "who do you belong to, princess?"

Harry whimpers out: "yours!"

"That's right!" Louis says, landing another slap on the left cheek, watching the skin turning a stunning pink color.

"You'll do well to remember that, baby? You're mine!" Louis spreads his cheeks wide and smirks at the sight of his boy's hole clenching around nothing, "this hole is mine, and only mine!" he growls punctuating his words with a good spank to his young boyfriend's hole that has Harry yelping and whimpering.

"please, p-please Daddy!"

Louis shushes him and finally lowers his head down to lap at his baby's hole. Harry mewling and whimpering little ah-ah and screaming out Daddy every time Louis' tongue penetrates him.

****

Harry was nervous to say the least as he and Chris made it home. Chris led him to their bedroom by gently placing his hand on Harry's back.

He kisses him softly at first and then with urgency, making Harry pant and rut against him in search of friction. He's hard already and a pair of intense blue eyes is fighting its way to Harry's mind.

Shit, he can't help it! It's like his body and mind automatically associate sex with Louis, his daddy for fuck's sake!

Harry moans at that, missing the way that word usually rolls off of his tongue, missing the way Louis' eyes darken every time he said it.

"You good babe?" Chris asks him as he lowers him on the bed, stripping him bare.

Harry nods and smiles at his boyfriend, always so caring and making sure Harry is alright with whatever they are doing.

Don't get him wrong, Harry appreciates that, immensely! But, it's just not what he wants and craves, it's not how Louis was in bed. He misses being manhandled and ordered around in bed.

He could be a good boyfriend and tell Chris that, he'd give it to him the way he likes it. He won't judge him for it, although Harry would never tell him about his daddy kink. He wouldn't tell anyone, and he sure hopes Louis didn't tell Chris about it.

Harry sort of blanks out, lost in his thoughts. He barely notices Chris undressing himself, barely feels it when he lowers against him and sucks on his neck and collar bones.

He snaps out of it when he feels something cold against his hole. His eyes widen and he realizes that his legs are spread open and that his boyfriend is between them, working a finger inside of him, gently and slowly.

He feels like crying. More so when Chris groans and says: "So tight!"

"Who do you belong to, princess?"

Harry whimpers, the sound of Louis' voice loud and clear in his mind.

Yoursyoursyours Harry's mind is chanting.

A tear falls out of his left eye as Chris adds another finger, thrusting them and scissoring them inside him, prepping him for his cock. He's going to fuck him; someone who isn't Louis is going to be inside him.

A loud sob escapes him and Chris stills his movements, quickly removing his fingers and rushing up to Harry.

"Oh my god, baby! Did I hurt you?"

Harry is covering his face with his large hands and sobbing. He couldn't do it, he can't do it!

He's barely semi hard anymore wanting nothing more than to curl up and sleep.

"I'm sorry!" he hiccups, his voice hoarse and cheeks wet.

Chris soothes him, gently rubbing his arm.

"It's okay babe! I'm sorry I pressured you, it's okay! Do you want to sleep?"

Harry nods and immediately curls up, turning his back to Chris and wetting his pillow. He's thankful when he feels a blanket being thrown over him and the lights turned off.

Chris sleeps on the bed that night, wondering how could his relationship work when he's dating someone that clearly belongs to someone else.


	10. Chapter 10

"Liam, are you an idiot?" Louis sighs.

Liam glares and points a threatening finger at him, "oh no! You shut up! I hate you so much right now; I haven't gotten any for five days because of you!"

Louis only smirks before bursting out laughing, "Please tell me he at least allows you to wank!"

Liam only scowls, a pout working its way on his face. Louis laughs even harder before shaking his head, "You're really whipped Lima!"

"Did you ask to meet me so we could discuss my lack of sex life at the moment?" Liam grumbles.

Louis straightens in his seat and takes a sip out of his tea. Though he really wants to keep teasing his best friend, he knows he's got more urgent matters to talk to him about.

Before he can utter another word, Liam asks him: "How's Lily?"

Louis smiles unconsciously at the mention of her name, "she's fine! I miss her like crazy though!"

"Me too! I haven't seen her for six months now, and I haven't skyped her since you came here!"

It was so hard coming back home and leaving her behind for Louis, even for only a month at most. He'd go back to visit her every chance he gets.

"Does Harry know?"

Louis sighs and shakes his head, "no! I can't imagine his reaction!" he says shuddering.

"You've got to tell him though!" Liam reasons. It's mostly because he doesn't want to be caught up in another lie and have Zayn be mad at him, but Louis decides not to dwell on his motives.

"I know!" he whines instead, "But not before he stops hating me! Although he will hate me again as soon as I tell him!"

"I understand! Hell, she's not even my daughter and I'm afraid to tell Zayn about her!"

Louis chuckles, "what's he gonna do this time? Spank you?"

Liam scowls but blushes fiercely.

Louis sighs again, remembering how he used to spank Harry and how he used to love it. Shit, he wonders if he does that with his current boyfriend! Fuck, just the thought of that makes him want to rip off Harry's boyfriend's balls.

"Thinking about Chris? You suddenly looked murderous!" Liam startles him out of his homicidal thoughts.

"I want details!" Louis states in his manager-like tone.

Liam only looks confused before asking: "about?"

Louis rolls his eyes and says: "Harry and that pathetic excuse he calls a boyfriend!"

Liam looks like he wants to laugh but knows better, he simply sighs and says: "I've already told you everything I know!"

"Well find out what you don't! I'm sure Hazza tells Zayn everything!"

Liam scowls, "I tell you Zayn makes me sleep on the couch and you want me to make him divulge Harry's secrets?"

Louis huffs, "find a way! Suck his cock or something!"

Liam mumbles something that sounds a lot like "wish he would let me!", Louis chooses to ignore it. But shit, he needs to find out more. He needs the dirt, he wants to know the details of their life and how they have sex. He is more than sure that Harry tells Zayn every single detail, just like he always did.

"Why don't you just ask Harry?" comes Liam's suggestion.

Louis shoots him a glare, clearly unimpressed, "you are an idiot!"

Liam rolls his eyes and says: "you have more power on Harry than I have on Zayn, if you manage to corner him somewhere, just you and him, you'll have him spilling his deepest secrets in less than two minutes!"

Louis runs his hands through his quiff frustratingly, he knows Liam has a point, but he doesn't want to use and manipulate Harry like that, he's trying to get him to forgive him! He wants to know if he's got a chance in winning Harry over. He's only got two options, either talk to Zayn which is not gonna happen unless he's willing to take a couple of punches to his face, or he could talk to Gemma, but his balls are quite precious to him, so really he has no options. Only his useless best friend, who is currently laughing at something on his phone, not even aware of the struggle Louis is suffering from.

So Louis does the only mature thing he could think of in that moment, he kicks Liam in the shin causing him to cry out and glare at him, "the fuck did you do that for?"

Louis smiles and says, "clear your day tomorrow, we're visiting Gemma!"

Liam looks at him as if he's grown two heads, "you trying to get killed?"

"It's why I'm taking you with me! You'll get to use those muscles in something other than fucking Zayn against walls!"

Liam looks scandalized, "I'm not hitting Gemma!"

Louis snorts, "you fucking idiot, I meant shield me from her!"

 

"You clearly seem to have forgotten how she is if you think she'd side with you for a second!"

"I know she won't! I haven't forgotten a thing, trust me! But if I know her as much as I think I do, then it'll work! I have a plan!"

Liam shrugs and says: "do what you want, it's your balls she'll rip off not mine!"

Louis cringes at the thought, subconsciously cupping his crotch with his hands.

Before Liam goes back to his phone, Louis says: "do you think I have a chance?"

Liam's eyes soften as he looks at his best friend, "you want my honest opinion?"

Louis nods, bracing himself.

Liam smiles softly and says: "I think he never stopped loving you!"

It causes Louis' heart rate to quicken, thinking about sweet lovely Harry still in love with him despite it all.

"But will he forgive me?"

"That I don't know!" Liam says gently, leaning over and squeezing his shoulder comfortingly.


	11. Chapter 11

It wasn't long before Louis realized that his plan was a bit optimistic at this stage, a lot more optimistic for it to actually work. Gemma wouldn't even agree to meet him; she probably doesn't even know he's back yet. He doubts that, but you never know! Harry might have kept that knowledge to himself!

He feels somewhat helpless, and he hates it. He calls back home to hear the sweet voice of Lilly more and more with each passing day, that being the only thing keeping him sane at the moment!

He hates to think about it but if he's honest with himself, Lilly coming to this world is what kept him from going back to Harry a long time ago, and he slightly resents himself for tarnishing the memory of making her with the pain of loosing Harry.

Three months in L.A, he had realized what a dumb mistake was leaving him, he finally came to term with the fact that Harry was his life and his home and that he couldn't live without him, but before he even had a chance to quit his dream job and buy a plane ticket back home, Briana came knocking on his door with red eyes and a torn white envelope in her hands.

"I'm pregnant!" she had said dejectedly before bursting out crying. It took a while for Louis to process that, staring at her in shock while she ugly cried sitting on his couch. He didn't even remember sleeping with her, he doesn't till today! He was so pissed that night, the reason why he forgot to put on a damn condom in the first place.

Louis of course doubted being the father, but they did the test and it proved that the little baby growing inside that stranger was indeed his biological child.

They were sitting in a small café, him drinking tea while she shoved waffles in her face. He thought it was a bit too early for food craving but he decided not to point that out. It was so awkward seeing her knowing that his baby was growing inside her body, hell, his baby was half her!

"There's this really good doctor my friends told me about! He does this a lot and it's a bit pricy but he's really good so! If you're willing to pay half the expense, by tomorrow this time it'll be gone!"

Louis had stared at her, shock and dejection coloring his features. It'll be gone she said, it!

"What?" she asked, putting down her fork and swallowing her bite.

"I don't want you to have an abortion! I mean, I just.. I.. I can't have him be killed!"

She winced and said, her voice soft, "it's still too early to be considered killing!"

"I know I know! But still, shit, that's my baby, our baby! Knowing that he's there makes abortion sound like killing!"

Briana had abandoned her food and looked down at her lap in thoughts. Louis' shoulders sag, what the hell was he thinking?

They were only twenty years old, hell they didn't even know each other! How the hell were they supposed to raise a child? What if she didn't even want children?

"How will it work?" her voice startled him from his thoughts, "I mean, can we even make it work?"

She sounded scared, so Louis wanting in that moment nothing more than to eliminate the option of abortion rushed to reassure her.

"My job is paying well, more than well to be honest! It's why I came here in the first place! So you don't have to worry about money, I'll support both of you, I promise!"

She had smiled slightly, seemingly weighing down her options. She suddenly sighed and said: "fuck it! We're having a baby!"

Louis smiled big, thoughts of Harry and home pushed back from his mind, as he nodded, "we're having a baby!"

****

Zayn stretches his arms above his head as he turns to lie on his back, he loves his bed dearly and smiles at how comfortable it is. He hears the shower running and sighs, he almost wants to join his boyfriend but he remembers he is supposed to be mad at him. The other side of the big comfy bed is cold, and Zayn feels a bit guilty for making Liam sleep on the couch in the living room for three nights now, he also misses him a lot!

He sits up just as the bathroom's door swings open and Liam comes out with a white towel hanging dangerously low around his hips.

He freezes in his spot when he finds that Zayn has woken up and is watching him, he looks like a lost puppy, a strong and muscled one at that, and Zayn is endlessly endeared.

"Good morning!" he says smiling, and chuckles at the way Liam's eyes widen. Oh his poor boyfriend!

"Come here!" he says next, and Liam wastes no time in obeying, going straight into the arms of his boyfriend, god he missed him.

"Hi!" he smiles up at him.

Zayn gives him that dazzling smile that never failed to make anyone wrapped around his little finger. Liam is glad and proud to call himself Zayn's boyfriend.

"Missed me?" Zayn asks teasingly as his hands caress his back and slip under the towel to squeeze his ass. Liam moans in response, "so much, Z! Fuck me please!"

Zany smirks, "gladly love!"

He attaches their lips in a searing kiss as Liam loses the towel and Zayn takes off his pajama pants. Zayn then moves down to kiss and bite at Liam's neck, as he shoves two of his fingers in his boyfriends' mouth to suck on. Once they're drenched in spit, he pulls them out of Liam's lips earning a whine from him.

"Shh love, I've got you!" he reassures as he circles his hole with a wet finger before pushing it inside, he's rewarded with a low whine from Liam.

"More!" he croaks immediately, pushing back against Zayn's hand.

"Desperate, are we?" Zayn teases though he is just as desperate! It's been three long days!

He preps him with two fingers scissoring them and crooking them just right making Liam let out a string of whines and moans. Then Liam pulls him off and straddles him properly, grabbing his cock and sinking down on it in one swift motion.

"Holy shit!" Zayn groans and tightens his hands on his boyfriend's hips, surely leaving bruises.

"I missed you! I love you!" Liam mumbles as he bounces up and down on his boyfriend's cock.

"Me too, Li! Fuck, love you so much!"

He leans up to seal their lips in another filthy kiss as Liam fastens his pace bringing them both to orgasm.

They lay there in a heap of sweaty limbs and drying come. Zayn chuckles once he catches his breath and says: "that was rather quick!"

Liam snorts and says: "what did you expect! It's been too long!"

Zayn rolls his eyes, "S'only three days, Li!"

Liam sits up a bit looking down at him and pouts: "easy for you to say, you jerked off!"

Zany laughs and kisses the pout out of his boyfriend's lips, "My obedient boyfriend! You took your punishment so well!" he teases, but his eyes shone proudly.

Liam blushes and gets up, "I have to go to work! Meet me for lunch?" he asks as he starts getting dressed.

Zayn smiles contentedly and says: "sure babe! See you later!"

Liam places a kiss on the top of his head before rushing out of their apartment.


	12. Chapter 12

"Zayn! Quit bothering her!"

Zayn ignores Harry's whines and smiles at Star: "am I bothering you, sweet pea?"

Star shakes her head and smiles adorably: "lobe you uncle zee!"

He flashes a smirk at Harry who scoffs and leans back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest, "why does everyone love you?"

Zayn shrugs and says: "it's a gift!"

He keeps distracting Star from eating her food until Gemma arrives, she scolds him, which makes Harry smirk, then she takes her daughter to take her back home.

"Thanks for picking her up!" she says before leaving the little bakery they were at.

Harry takes a bite from his cupcake before he realizes that Zayn is watching him expectantly.

"What?" he asks.

"Spill!" Zayn says.

Harry rolls his eyes, "I have nothing to tell you!"

Zayn gives him a pointed look before smirking, "well, I do! Liam and I made out yesterday. Fucked five times since!"

Harry shakes his head blushing and scowling: "I didn't ask!"

Zayn looks too smug about it. Harry snorts and says: "shit! I haven't had any for a week now!"

He winces at the memory of the last time he and Chris were intimate. Ha can't believe he broke down crying in the middle of having sex with his boyfriend, because he was thinking of his ex-boyfriend. That's too much drama for him! Chris walks on eggshells around him ever since, there's this tension between them that Chris chooses to ignore and Harry's too scared to address.

What could he say anyway? I am sorry I don't let you top? He seriously doesn't understand how Chris is so patient with him, why hasn't he dumped him yet?

Harry tries to ignore the part of his brain that tells him he wished Chris leaves him. But why the fuck would he want that? Harry is surely smarter than to go back running to Louis. He hopes so anyway!

"Come on! Finish up your cupcake and let's get out of here!"

Harry does so before they leave.

******

"I have an idea!"

Louis looks up from his laptop scowl at Liam. "that's usually how every bad decision we made started!"

It's Liam's turn to scowl before sighing: "do you wanna hear it or not?"

Louis rolls his eyes before closing up his laptop and putting it away, he lays back and huffs: "let's hear it then!"

"A night out!" Liam says like he just discovered the cure to cancer! Louis is not impressed and he makes sure to show it.

"I meant we will all go out, like old times! Zayn and I, and you and Harry!"

Louis purses his lips: "only your genius mind forgot that Chris would be there too! That is if Zayn and Harry even agree to going out with me!"

Liam smirks: "I wasn't planning on telling them you'll be there! They'll think it would be just the three of us. Chris doesn't always join, especially now that he's going on a business trip!"

"Bloody hell Liam, you actually have a brain!"

Liam decides to take that as a compliment and beam at him.

"If Zayn figures it out, you can come have a wank at my place!" Louis snorts.

"He won't! We'll be at the club we used to go to so it will make sense to run into you there!"

Louis nods, "okay! When are we doing this?"

"Tomorrow night since Chris is leaving tonight!" Liam says as he fishes out his phone to text his boyfriend.

Louis turns back to his work before he's interrupted by the ringing of his phone. It's Briana.

"Hello!" he says as he picks it up and leaves the room.

"Hi! How are you?"

"I'm okay! I miss Lily like crazy!"

"I know, she misses you too! keeps asking about you!"

Louis sighs, "I'll come see her on the weekend, okay?"

"Yeah if you want! Or you could fly us there for a couple of days! I've never been to London!"

Louis thinks it over; having his baby and her mother here will not help with his getting Harry back situation. Unless of course Harry never bumps into them! He can only hope it won't happen. It is definitely not the right time to introduce his daughter to the love of his life.

"Okay! I'll take of everything and let you know!"

He can hear her smiling through the phone, "Thank you, Lou! We'll see you soon then?"

"Yeah! I'll skype Lily later on, see you!" he says before ending the call.

He breathes deeply and runs a hand over his face. He needs to focus on the night out ambush first, then prepare for his daughter's and her mama's arrival.

*****

"How long is it again?" Harry asks as he watches Chris flitting around the room, getting his suitcase ready.

"Four days!"

"Okay!" Harry mumbles. He doesn't know why but he feels small while watching his boyfriend get ready to leave. He feels vulnerable with his boyfriend gone, like he'd be easy to reach for Louis. He's not sure if he's anticipating that or fearing it. He just knows that it's something Louis would do if he knew Harry was alone. And of course he'll know thanks to Liam.

Harry whines silently, already dreading the coming four days.

"I'll call and text you every day, okay?" Chris' words bring him back to reality.

He nods then stands up hugging his boyfriend closer to his chest.

"Are you sure you don't want me to drive you to the airport?"

Chris kisses the back of his hand and smiles, "It's not that I don't want you, I just don't need you driving me there then driving back home alone this late! Okay?"

Harrys nods and says: "Have a safe flight then!"

Chris nods, "I'll text you as soon as I land!"

With that he leaves. 

Harry tries to ignore the fact that Chris didn't even try to kiss him goodbye. He knows his boyfriend is considerate and just giving him space seeing as Harry did cry the last time he touched him. But still, he feels like they're growing apart which is a natural consequence of having Louis around, he should've expected it, he just genuinely never thought Louis would be back. He never said he would be back, he only said he was leaving!


	13. Chapter 13

Harry is bored out of his mind as soon as he gets inside his very empty and quiet apartment. He lingers back at the school long after his students leave but he has to get back home at some point. He thought about staying at his mom's despite the long drive but Gemma will laugh at him and never let him hear the end of it. He doesn't need that.

Zayn is busy with work and Harry doesn't even attempt talking to Liam! He knows he's with Louis, probably. Definitely!

He skypes Chris for half an hour before he makes himself some dinner. He eats alone, the TV playing as background noise filing the house.

The knock on his door comes late. He doesn't have work the next day as it's the weekend, so he's camped out on the couch watching rom-coms. He isn't expecting anyone and who would visit him at midnight anyway?

He shouldn't be surprised to see Louis standing on his door step when he opens the door, but he is. His eyes are wide as they take in Louis in front of him, all sharp eyes and scruffy jaw, hair disheveled, probably from a long day.

Louis looks amused, as he raises his eyebrows and says: "Curly! Let me in and you can stare as long as you want! I'll even let you touch!"

Harry can feel his eyes widen even more, a blush rising to the top of his cheeks. He doesn't for the life of him understand why he steps aside to let Louis in instead of closing the door in his face!

"Nice place!" Louis says, looking around, "got yourself a rich boyfriend, Hazza!"

Harry doesn't like the way Louis said it, he's definitely mocking him and Harry is already so mad at him. Four years of pent up anger, so he snaps, his voice sounds harsh even to his own ears: "the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Louis only cocks one eyebrow and says: "want me to take you over my knee, Harry?"

That shuts him up. He didn't expect Louis would show up at his door, talking to him as if he's never left, as if those four years are nothing more than four hours Louis spent them out and came back home to Harry. And that voice, fuck! It makes Harry shiver, because that, that's his daddy talking, and Harry missed that so much. He feels his heart clench painfully inside his chest. 

But no, Louis can't talk to him like that anymore. He's lost that right!

He wishes he didn't stutter his next words, but he did.

"Y-you c-can't! 'M not yours anymore!"

Louis sighs at that and sits down on the couch, legs spread and arms stretching over the back of the couch.

"You've always been mine, Harry!" He says matter-of-factly.

Harry shakes his head, close to tears. God, he's such a cry baby and he hates Louis. He fucking hates him and the way his life turned out to be!

"N-no! I'm with Chris, okay? We live together, we sleep together and we do everything together! You are nothing more than someone I used to know!"

"Harry, come here!"

Louis says it so softly Harry's fucking heart shatters. Everything in him is screaming at him to go to Louis. His body and his mind are like: "Fuck! That's your daddy!! GO TO HIM!!"

"N-no!" he stutters instead. He's crying at this point, sobs threatening to spill out any second now.

Louis sighs and pats his lap: "come on baby! Let me hold you for a bit!"

Harry isn't sure what does it for him. Maybe it's the broken sob that he lets escape, or maybe it's Louis' voice he's missed so much. Or maybe it's the way every inch of his body is craving Louis' touch.

He crumples and falls on Louis' lap, feeling as if he's finally able to breathe after long four years.

Louis holds him tight against his chest, letting him cry over his shirt and smear it with tears and snot. He couldn't care less.

He keeps whispering sweet nothings into his ear. He can't believe he's caused him this much pain! He's hurt his baby so much, why did he ever leave? What was going on in his fucking mind at the time? His twenty-two years old has been a fucking stupid twat! He'll never forgive him just as Harry will never forgive Louis. Louis feels like crying, but he can't focus on himself right now. He's got a lapful of a sobbing Harry.

He needs to calm him down.

"Baby, take deep breaths for me, yeah?"

Harry lets out a broken wail and clutches closer to Louis, curling impossibly small. Louis frowns, fuck! He doesn't know how Harry's sex life has been after he left. But he's sure it's way different to how things used to be between them. And the BDSM part wasn't just sexual for Harry, at least during the last year they've lived together. And if Louis guessed right, Harry kept that part from Chris! Which means he's suppressed that part of him completely for four fucking years unless he went to BDSM clubs to let off steam which Louis very much doubts.

Louis hasn't been in the scene after he left either, but he's never needed it the way Harry did, he's gotten into it for Harry mostly, to be everything he needed.

The way Harry's calmed down now, how he's gone lax in Louis arms, hands weakly fisting the material of his shirt, desperate to keep him close. Louis knows he dropped!

For a little instant, he panics. It has been so long after all!

But then he breathes in, deep and slow, and focuses on taking care of Harry. He needs to bring him back, safely!

"Baby! Look at me please!"

He lifts his head up by a gentle finger under his chin and takes in Harry's glazed over eyes, he looks deep in his space, a smile tugging on his lips as he whimpers out a soft: "daddy!"

"Fuck!" Louis curses. He missed the way that word rolled off Harry's tongue, how he trusted him enough to take care of him when he's so deep inside his own head and vulnerable.

He's glad that never changed, the way Harry trusts Louis with his life. It gives him hope! Maybe Harry can find it in his heart to forgive him after all!


	14. Chapter 14

Louis gathers Harry in his arms and gets up in search of his bedroom. He knows it’d be useless to ask Harry, he’s too far in his headspace to form any coherent thoughts.

Louis needs to bring him back.

He lowers him gently on the bed once he manages to find his bedroom. Harry though refuses to let go of Louis’ shirt. When Louis goes to grab his wrists and lower his hands, Harry wails.

“Daddy!” he cries.

Louis shushes him gently and whispers, “I’m here baby! I’m right here!”

He gets in the bed and holds Harry close to him, whispering sweet nothings in his ear, hoping it’ll bring him back quickly so that they can talk. 

Louis needs to apologize to him.

He needs to tell him what happened and why he didn’t come back.

Harry doesn’t calm down though; it seems Louis’ voice is making him restless instead of calming him down. He wiggles around and whimpers.

“What is it, baby boy? What do you need?” Louis asks. He knows it’s wrong what he’s doing. Harry is not in his right mind right now, but it goes against Louis’ nature not to take care of him when he’s like this. Besides, it’s not like he can call Zayn or Liam to take care of him. That wouldn’t be good for Harry. He only ever wants Louis when he’s in this state.

“Daddy! Need you!” Harry slurs. Louis lets his eyes wander down Harry’s body to find that his suspicions are right. Harry is rock hard in his pants.

He takes a deep breath. He can’t do that! Harry will hate him even more later! He can’t take advantage of him like that!

“Baby! How about we take a nap for now, yeah?”

Harry shakes his head, curling closer to Louis and whimpering, “No! Daddy, please! Want you!”

“I can’t baby boy!” Louis says firmly.

Harry lets out a sob against his chest and shakes his head, “please!” he begs.

“Harry, no!” Louis says his tone harsh.

Harry apparently takes that the wrong way because he starts sobbing about how his daddy doesn’t love him anymore, how he doesn’t want him and it’s why he left.

Louis’ heart is breaking and he’s panicking a bit if he’s honest. He’s supposed to bring Harry out of his headspace, not make him drop further.

“No, baby! Don’t say that! I love you more than anyone in the world! I love you so much!”

Harry peers up at him with red eyes and wet cheeks. His eyes are unfocused and he makes grabby hands at him, his sobs quieting down to sniffles.

Louis complies, leaning down and kissing his wet cheeks, thumbing his tears away and telling him how good of a boy he is. He lets him climb into his lap and rub his bum against his cock. Louis is helpless to getting hard; it’s inevitable when Harry is rocking above him like this, mewling and moaning high in his throat.

He helps him out of his clothes until he’s bare above him, looking more beautiful than he remembers. He’s grown up for sure; he’s all muscles and lean limbs. His bum’s gotten perkier and his hips meatier. Only his cock didn’t change, still just as beautiful as Louis remembers. And it’s so hard as well, begging for attention.

“You’re so beautiful, baby!” he kisses his collarbones, his arms circling his middle and caressing his love handles, “My perfect boy!”

Harry preens at that, rocking harder against Louis who’s hard now beneath him, his clothed cock slides in between his bum cheeks.

Louis hopes that would be enough and Harry will come and fall asleep on his chest. But he should know better than that, he knows Harry well, even if they’ve been apart for years now. When Harry gets like this, only Louis knows him best.

Harry is soon whining high in his throat and clawing at Louis’ clothes, trying to somehow remove them. Louis ignores him, caressing his soft skin and subtly thrusting up against him.

“Daddy!” Harry wails, dropping his head into Louis’ shoulder and crying softly.

Louis sighs, his brings his hand to Harry’s face and taps two of his fingers against his lips. Harry immediately opens his mouth and laps at Louis’ fingers enthusiastically, moaning and swirling his tongue around them.

When Louis deems his fingers wet enough and goes to pull them out of Harry’s warm mouth, Harry whine and grabs his hand tightly, keeping the fingers in his mouth and sucking on them.

Louis can’t help but chuckle, he looks at Harry who’s looking back at him with hallowed cheeks and big eyes, “Baby! Don’t you want Daddy to finger you?”

As soon as the words leave his mouth, his fingers are released from the wet heat they’ve been surrounded by. Harry spreads his legs further across Louis’ lap, rubbing his bum one last time against Louis’ hard cock before pushing it out; he drops his head back against Louis’ shoulder and whines impatiently.

Louis doesn’t chastise him for being impatient because he doesn’t have the right to do so, Harry might be in his lap now, naked and pliant, but he’s still mad at him. 

He brings his hands to Harry’s bum cheeks and massages them for a second before creeping his wet fingers to his hole. He presses one finger against it without pushing it in and groans. Harry seems impossibly tight. He keeps petting at his hole and rubbing his index in little circles around his rim to relax it. Then he pushes his finger inside in one go.

Harry keens and pants hotly against the side of his neck, already breathless.

“Okay, baby?” Louis asks.

Harry’s response comes in the form of a strangled moan, so Louis takes that as a yes and starts thrusting his finger slowly and steadily inside him. he steers away from his prostate for now as he works his middle finger inside as well.

Harry whines at the stretch and arches his back, pushing his ass firmly back against Louis’ fingers.

Louis then goes for Harry’s sweet spot, hitting it every time his fingers thrust inside, massaging it and making Harry choke on his moans. He starts crying then, as he always did when Louis would massage his prostate.

He also comes untouched, the way he used to do, when Louis shoves his fingers in roughly and presses against his spot murmuring how good of a boy Harry is being and ordering him to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts??


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is greatly appreciated. I hope you like this chapter :)

Harry sits on the single armchair by his full length mirror, his knees drawn up to his chest with his arms circling them. He’s been sitting like that for a while now, watching Louis.

He’s a heavy sleeper.

Harry finds that he still remembers every little detail about him, the way his mouth is slightly open while deep breaths leave it. He looks so familiar and Harry’s heart aches.

He’s learned not to associate the feeling of being home with a person, not when the person can just simply leave. Leave you homeless and alone. Harry learned that lesson the hard way.

But Louis is right there, sleeping in Harry’s bed. The bed he shares with his boyfriend. He doesn’t even dwell on the guilt, because the pain he’s feeling around Louis is shadowing it. It’s all he can feel now.

He doesn’t understand how he just left him, how he broke all his promises and waited this long to comeback. Harry will listen to whatever excuses Louis will give him, he’ll accept them and he’ll even probably give up everything and take him back.

But will he be able to forget? Able to forgive? That he doesn’t know. And it kills him because it’s his Louis right there, how could he not forgive him?

A tear escapes his left eye and Harry doesn’t bother wiping it away, just lets it fall down the side of his face and into his hair that is still damp from the shower he took after he woke up. He smelled like Louis and he couldn’t take it. The whole room smells like Louis and Harry is basking in it.

The feeling is so bittersweet.

Louis stirs and turns over on his back, stretching his arms above his head before abruptly sitting up, his eyes frantically moving around the room until he spots Harry. And the younger lad can see it all in his eyes, the guilt and regret.

“Good morning”

His voice is rough from sleep and it makes a shiver run up Harry’s spine. He swallows and murmurs a morning.

“How are you feeling?”

“I didn’t mean to drop last night” he says in lieu of answering. He thinks they might as well talk about it and get it out of the way.

“I know” Louis nods, “it’s why I want to know how you’re feeling”

Harry shrugs and because he thinks Louis deserves it, he says, “What do you think?”

Louis’ shoulders sag and he runs his hands through his hair, “I came here to talk last night, you know? I wanted to apologize and explain, answer any questions that you have. We can do that now if you want, or I could just leave if you don’t want me here”

I do want you here, Harry thinks. That’s the whole problem.

“Go on then! I’m sure you’ve got a speech ready”

Louis’ eyes narrow at the tone of Harry’s voice, seemingly unable to control himself. But Harry maintains eye contact with him, daring him to say something.

Louis sighs, “Sorry will never cut it! I left because I was stupid and I got scared. It’s no excuse I know but it’s all I have”

“Then why didn’t you comeback? Took you four years to get over your fear?” he hates how his voice breaks a little as he asks him what he’s been dying to get answers to for so long.

Louis hangs his head and huffs, “are you ready to hate me more than you already do then?”

Harry’s eyes water, because how dare Louis say that? How dare he think even for a second that Harry is capable of hating him?

If he did, he would’ve moved on a long time ago.

Harry lifts his head up and lowers his feet to sink into his plush rug.

“Louis” he starts, “do you have any idea how bad you hurt me?”

And at his words, it seems that all the fight leaves Louis’ body. He looks crestfallen.

“You’ve broke something in me that day, you know? It’s like you’ve reached inside my chest and ripped my heart out, took it right with you and left me all alone” Harry brings his hands up to wipe the tears that are silently running down his cheeks. “I’ve been bleeding for four years, Lou”

Louis looks up at him then, his own tears running down his cheeks.

“I’ve loved you so much, ever since I could remember! You’re all I’ve known” Harry states matter-of-factly, his voice wobbly and quiet, “You broke me”

Harry lets out a heart wrenching sob then. Louis huffs out a breath and gets up, and moves closer to Harry, kneeling in front of him and looking up at him with a sincere expression.

“I want you to believe that I’ve never wanted to hurt you and that I didn’t comeback because I couldn’t and I will tell you why one day, I promise you that”

Harry sniffs pitifully and nods.

“I’m going to leave, okay? I’ll leave London if that’s what you want”

Harry shrugs, looking down at his lap, unable to bear the pain in Louis’ wet eyes.

“I’m ready to do whatever it is you want me to. You just say the words, and you’ve got it”

Harry already knows what he wants. He knew Louis would offer that, offer to do whatever Harry asks of him.

So he clears his throat and says, “I do want you to do something”

Louis looks hopeful and eager as he nods his head, “anything”

Harry’s cheeks are warming up, but they’re already red from crying so he’s hoping Louis won’t notice.

“I want to be with you one last time” he mumbles before looking up and locking his gaze with Louis’, “like we used to. I want it one last time”

Louis looks in pain, “Harry” he says, no, he pleads. Because he’s not sure he can do that. He can’t say goodbye to him.

Harry shrugs, “you said you’d do whatever **I** wanted!” he reminds him, “and **I** want you to spank me so hard until I’m crying and then I want you to fuck me bare. After that, I never want to see you again”

“Harry.. I c-can’t do that, please. It’ll only hurt us more”

“No” Harry shakes his head, “you owe me that Louis, you give me back my heart and then you get out of my life”

“How is that going to get you back your heart?” he sounds hysterical, and for good reason.

Harry looks away from him, “are you going to do it or what?”

Louis looks around the room, unable to process the thoughts swirling around his head. “I've got to go” he croaks, “I need a drink” and with that he gets up to his feet and leaves Harry alone in his bedroom.


End file.
